Trapped Part Deux

As I said in my other blog, I am trapped... I was talking about physically trapped, this time I am emotionally trapped. I feel like I am trapped in a body I am not supposed to be in. As you know I am confined to a wheelchair, and when I am on a 'low' day, I say 'why am I in this body, why can't I just get up and walk around?' it is so frustrating to be stuck in a position you don't want to be in. I don't have a choice to just get up and walk around... but I stay strong and be the most positive I could be. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could walk and what would be the first things I would do. They would be calling my family and close friends. I would manage my brothers store, start writing scripts with friends, be more busy with school, party with my friends, get my own apartment without worrying about who would take care of me. Right now I need to depend on others too much, I can't just tell them to go away so I can take a break from them, I need them, and that's the sad truth. I hate that, I just want to be on my own. My relationships would be stronger if there was no third person there. Maybe I am just too stubborn, who cares if they are there, they are a part of me now if they are not there I don't survive.